Wednesday, October 22, 2008

How to be a Leader

How to be a Leader

Every great leader needs followers and followers need a leader.
Sometimes you are a leader and sometimes you are a follower. Do you know which times to choose which? Both jobs require a complete absence of ego.


In order to be a great leader, you need these qualities:
1. Confidence.
2. Respect for others.
3. Integrity (including honesty and fairness).
4. Creativity and innovation.
5. Commitment and persistence.
6. The ability to inspire and motivate others.

This last quality is also called charisma. It is hard to define, but we know it when we encounter it. Maybe possessing all of these qualities is what we really mean by charisma. But it seems to be something more than just a list of skills and abilities, it radiates from the inside. Are leaders born, or are they made? Is charisma an innate quality, or can it be developed?
I believe these qualities can be developed and practiced. As a hypnosis consultant, I have worked with many to develop more confidence and social ease, more persistence, and more creativity.

Leadership is no accident. According to Mary Godwin, "Being a good leader is not something that casually occurs. It takes great thought, care, insight, commitment and energy. When it all comes together, it brings out the best of who you are."

This is significant, because it mentions bringing out the best in the leader. But curiously enough one definition of leadership is to be able to bring out the best in others, while contributing to a common cause.

When I asked my colleagues about Leadership qualities, I got some interesting replies. I will give you a few examples:

The person I am thinking of is a leader I would follow. But he is not an instant success, because several false leaders would put stumbling blocks in his way. Some administrators are constantly thwarting his efforts in an attempt to cover their own ineptitude. It is a shame and a waste of energy. So, his leadership: He is intelligent and educated, but he always looks into things. He researches his answers and is not afraid to change if he is found to be in error. However, he is usually right because he does not make rash decisions or decisions based on his ego. He tries to do what he thinks is right from a considered point of view. Then he will stand strong. He is loyal and hard working. He has a code of conduct for himself and those around him. And he does not kiss up to those in power in order to elevate his position. If there is a mistake he makes it is to judge others as forthright and honest, as he is. Sometimes they are not. --Karla Guererri

The person I am thinking of is not famous. She was a prior boss of mine. I admired her greatly from the moment I began with the company until I left 7 years after that. She would never ask anyone to do anything she would not do herself. This, in turn, made our department quite happy, effective, and productive. We always wanted to do our best for ourselves as well as for her. She was an amazing teacher. She shared her knowledge in a manner that did not make you feel as though you didn't know anything. She shared whatever she knew with her staff. I learned so much from her and have never respected a boss that way since! She worked her way up to the top (so to speak) and was always encouraging others to learn more. She was human! When she noticed you being tired, or a little overworked she would suggest the next day off. It is many years later and I still think of her quite often.
--Janet Chocky


These are just some of the replies I got. Almost all mentioned some combination of the qualities listed above.

To me it seems clear that one of the most important qualities is commitment. If you don't have the commitment to a cause, you will not succeed as a leader. Sincerity and honesty are also required. If you are not dedicated to the cause, step back and let someone else take the lead. Leaders are flexible, right? That's because they are dedicated to the cause and are responsive to feedback. A good leader will consider advice from others. They are creative and open to other's creative ideas.

According to Gayle Hamilton, “You can’t follow someone who isn’t credible, who doesn’t truly believe in what they’re doing – and how they’re doing it.”

This is where the honesty and integrity come in. If you are not known for honesty and reliability, you will not be considered credible.

Leads lead by example, and several of the responses I got mention this. They say that a leader will not ask you to do something they would not do. This also strengthens your credibility.

On the other hand, I also received this from Mark Beck:
There is a Zen Buddhist story about leadership, and it underscores the trait that is most valued in leadership among cultures of the Far East: HUMILITY. It’s like Jesus told (and demonstrated) to his disciples: “The one among you who would be the greatest must first become the servant of all.”

This throws a monkey wrench into the works. It seems Leadership is more complicated than I first suspected! Let’s see if Jesus possesses the other traits mentioned:
Confidence. check. Respect for others. check. Integrity, honesty, and reliablility. check. Creativity, commitment. check, check. So why does this seem so different from the others? Ego is mentioned in the first paragraph. Jesus truly was without ego. He gave his full effort all the time. He was human, but not as human as the other leaders mentioned. And humans have egos. But they can get in the way when trying to accomplish something. Although the leader takes the credit when the thing is done, in order to achieve it, he must not focus on the glory, because that contradicts the other qualities.

Leadership is very complex. Developing these qualities will help you to become a leader should the need arise.

May you be blessed with leadership opportunities and may your leaders embody the same qualities we have just discussed!

Until next time, wishing you enlightenment, encouragement and empowerment!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Anticipating Anxiety

Anxiety. I just read how anxiety may be a beneficial thing, because it prevents you from making the same mistake multiple times.

But if you want to reduce or eliminate anxiety, call your favorite hynotherapist or hypnotist!

Hypnosis can help relieve or reduce normal occasional feelings of anxiety. I'm not talking about severe anxiety attacks. I'm talking about being uncomfortable driving over bridges, avoiding traveling if a plane is necessary to get there, or hiding in the bathroom when it is your turn to speak at a meeting.

I've known people who wouldn't drive on highways! For some reason they needed several hours to get somewhere 30 miles away. Although they said they hated highways, it's pretty clear they were afraid of driving on them. It's really hard to get somewhere in Florida if you avoid highways and bridges!

Fortunately, hypnosis can restore your confidence to stay in-control in these situations. I have worked with clients who were reluctant to fly in a plane, cross a bridge, climb a ladder, and even speak in public. Hypnosis can help you overcome avoidance behavior, so you can live your life with less stress and more serenity!